Climate Poofs are killing our State

Queenslanders in the country know more than anyone how Queer our weather is getting. We have hot bits where it should be cold, we have no water where water should be and too much water in the dry places.

So who is to fault for all this queer weather and what will the LNP do about it.

Well of course everything is the fault of the LAP party (previously ALP until @kevinruddpm went to that strip club in the USA). Before @Anna4Vic we had PR Pete (also known as Porky Pete) who realising how queer he had let the state become left for the USA. Nothing queer going on over there.

They have sucked all the water out of Queensland like a giant environmental blow job. Leaving us all spent money wise and with nothing to show for it except some limp organic matter.

No planning at all has gone into anything over the last 11 years, it has been like a fantastic Mardi gras in the back corridors of Parliament House, where only the LAP party gets to enjoy the ride.

Coal Coal Coal. Sure we need the money, especially now that @Anna4vic has spent it all down in the Crown Casino (like all bad gamblers trying to save herself by gambling more) and some Vic web development shop, but do we have to use it for power. lets just ship it to them Asians and let them burn their own ozone hole over their place.

Solar power is fine is you can reach the sun to plug the cable in, but we can’t even get to the moon so how are a bunch of Northern hicks like us expect to get that straight.

The solution is simple.

We are going to get a hold on all the Climate Poofs and put them to use in a massive festival in Gympie to raise money to fund a plan to determine what plan we will need to put in place to fix the water plan and get water form places it doesn’t exist, and then raise more money (without affecting our b- credit rating) to put in more infrastructure that will work on fixing our queer weather.

Clear enough? Don’t you worry about that!

Hoon Watch – A fundraiser stopwatch

Finally our latest batch has arrived. YOU might not be aware but the LNP (My Party – Not Clive Palmer’s) has a program called Hoon Watch.

We are a progressive party and don’t agree with punishment when smarter strategies can be employed on problems. THis country is a country of Hoons, just look at how popular racing is and you know what we know. Australia is the Hoon centre of the world, and Queensland is the capital of Hoonism in Australia.

We have put together this remarkable time piece to help you keep track of your favourite Hoons and it is nicely co-branded with our logo.

For only $199.95 you get the watch and a tax deductable $205 donation to he LNP. Who says we cannot manage a State’s economy numbers?

Hello Queensland

Hello Queensland.

Yes it is me, the Borg, yes I am the Borg. Don’t be confused by imposters, I am the Borg.

And with an election about to happen in my beloved state of Queensland, I felt I needed to get into the modern days, and get Borg Blogging. It is all a little scary for a simple country boy like me, but I decided I better front end it like I front end jobs!

Did you know I am on Twitter, yes I tweet a lot about all my stuff. Tweet Tweet Tweet. Mrs Borg thinks it is denecessary, but I told her I have to tweet not just to the little sheeps out in the paddock, but also to the people in my constitution.

This election campaign I won’t be talking mumbo jumbo, don’t you worry about that!

I will be getting my hands dirty getting rid of the nits, ironing my shirts (and curtains) because we don’t want unruly curtains in Queensland, and then if I have any time left I will be making some policy muffins in the kitchen!

Watch this space, because there are Hoons about! And we don’t like hoons much. Nor do we like Climate Poofs in Queensland! Which is why we now have Climate Poof my new policy on fixing queer weather!

As they say on the SMS, l8r.